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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.
Finally, …
A man and his wife were driving their RV across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee.
They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as …
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. …
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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.” Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer …
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What is better?
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. He told the patient,”You have your choice of two brains. For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”The …
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A player was telling his mother about the game scheduled for that afternoon.
-Today we will play in a stadium with a roof, Mom! His mother replied happily:
-Really? That’s very good. When you’re playing 1 won’t have to worry about …
At a restaurant, a guest said angrily:
- Waiter! Why is this key in my soup? What do you think of it?
- Sir, I’m very happy – replied the waiter
- I have looked for it everywhere from yesterday. Thank you …
After the Football match, a player went home with a sorrowful face.
His surprised wife asked:- Why are you so sad? What’s the matter? He answered sadly:- Today I got a Yellow card.- So, did you want to …
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A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he’s there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey, please”.
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage …
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A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so …
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